As sports and hockey become increasingly intertwined (see Sean Avery, pink jerseys, $50 NHL trucker hats, etc.) and the public appetite for sports lists (see SportsCentre Top 10, Best Damn Sports Show Top 50 ------ lists, etc.) explodes on the internet, a number of highly entertaining lists have documented some of the worst jerseys ever to grace the rink, court or field.
toptenz.net offers this list of, you guessed it, the Top 10 Ugliest Sports Uniforms of all-time. Hockey is represented by the Quebec Nordiques and Hartford Whalers (both of which I personally love) as well as, of course, the 1980s Canucks 'V' jersey. Meanwhile ESPN Page 2 provides a great visual overview of some of the worst third jerseys in NHL history. Two of these jerseys (LA Kings and Anaheim Mighty Ducks) make it on to Page 2's list of "The ugliest ducklings in sport," along with the infamous Cooperalls sported by the Whalers and the Philadelphia Flyers in the 1980s. From Page 2:
3. Philadelphia Flyers, 1982-83 and Hartford Whalers, 1982-83.
Ah, yes -- the Cooperalls season, when the Flyers and Whalers tried to drag hockey out of the short-pants era and were nearly laughed out of the league. Hartford's trousers had stripes; Philly's were sometimes striped, sometimes just logo-emblazoned at the ankle. After one season, the league put the kibosh on these (although they later showed up elsewhere).
Given the entertainment value of these ugly, yet still awesome, uniforms, I propose a new NHL marketing gimmick: once night per season, a series of teams will square off sporting the ugliest uniforms from their respective team histories.
Think how this would look on TV: the Canucks powerplay, sporting its home yellow jerseys with black pants and a lovely Halloweeen 'V' on each, works the puck against the St. Louis Blues PK, which is sporting these beauties that apparently never saw the light of day thanks to Mike Keenan (one thing he did right, apparently). Henrik Sedin passes to Daniel at the side of the net for a tap-in, and as the horn blares four Canucks mob Daniel, looking like a swarm of bumblebees converging on a pot of honey.
Or imagine John Tavares, rocking the New York Islanders' Captain Highliner duds, trying to dangle in the Philadephia Flyers zone, only to get slammed into the boards by a Cooperall-clad Chris Pronger. This would, of course, launch an all-out brawl in which Ray Emery and Martin Biron square off at centre-ice in a glorious mish-mash of hideous jerseys and flying fists.
Or how about Scott Gomez and Mike Cammalleri, looking like candy-canes or barbershop poles, working a 2-1 against the Coyotes, who are sporting jerseys that give new meaning to the phrase Coyote Ugly? Or a battle of California between the Kings and Ducks, featuring the Angry-Duck-Smashing-Through-the-Ice against the Purple-Bearded, Asymmetrically-Placed King?
The possibilities, while not endless, are certainly tantalizing. How great would this look in HD? How much extra attention would be garnered by otherwise uninteresting match-ups? A November game between the Islanders and Coyotes wouldn't usually be more than an afterthought for 99% of hockey fans, let alone casual sports-viewers - if properly marketed, however, an Ugly Uniform Match could be a huge draw.
If the NHL wanted to generate more fan interest, it could hold online voting to determine which teams would participate in the games (personally I think this should be a double-header) and which jerseys they should wear. It could maintain veto power if the choice of jerseys would cause issues for the players (for example two yellow jerseys) but otherwise it would be left up to the fans. As every team now plays each other at least once, the match-ups could be determined by fans before the schedule is released, allowing the league some flexibility in determining how to fit these (usually unusual) match-ups in the schedule.
So whaddya think? It may be a dumb idea, and it will likely never happen, but here's dreaming. The NHL would be a much more interesting place if this idea ever got adopted.
