The truth hurts
Q: What's the Maple Leafs best forward line?
A: Antropov-Stajan-Ponikarovsky.
Oh, um, yeaaaaah...
Doggone it
A man walks into a bar to watch a Leafs playoff game (it's called willing suspension of disbelief folks), and with him he brings a poodle wearing a Leafs sweater. The Leafs defeat the Bruins, and when the final horn sounds the poodle jumps on the bar, stands on his hind-legs and high fives all the patrons seated at the bar.
"He does that whenever the Leafs win a playoff game!" the man proudly explains.
"That's amazing!" exclaims the bartender. "What does he do when they win a series?"
"I don't know" replies the man. "I've only had him since 2005."
Tough life
The Leafs scouting staff, instructed to think outside the box by GM Brian Burke, sign an 18-year old ball-hockey play from Iraq to an entry level contract. The Leafs arrange for the player's emigration to, and settlement in, Canada.
In desperation the Leafs start the youngster at left-wing for a game against the Senators, and he blows fans, management and his teammates away by scoring all five goals in an epic 5-4 win.
He calls his mother after the game: "Mother, it was amazing - I played great and everyone in Toronto loves me!"
"Well good for you," replies his mother, "but while you are soaking up the limelight in Toronto things here are terrible: your father was shot at, your brother was mugged and our house was robbed yesterday."
The son apologizes, replying: "Mother, I am so sorry for our family's suffering."
"Sorry?" she replies angrily. "Its your damn fault we moved to Scarborough in the first place!"
